A long while back, I went to a buddhist meeting. Nicherin Sochou, or Sokka Gakki, that had several dozen non-buddhists there from the local college, drawn in by buddhist proslytites. I don't know if they still proslytize, but back then, they had a strong showing on most large campuses...

In the meeting, before they started their chanting, (which is the backbone of their belief -- believing that certain sounds align yourself in harmony with the universe...and that harmony works off karma for yourself, or can be applied to others...) in a show for non-buddhists, they had their school children do little Japanese cheers and dances and skits...and then had their novice or just beginning believers' testimonies about how they first came to believe, how it began working in their lives, and what it meant to them now...

And as I sat listening to stories of being down on their luck, and giving chanting a try, without much belief that anything would happen, and having miraculus events occur that turned their life around positively...

Stories of self-sacrifice, chanting for a loved one, and having them benefit from that chanting...

Tales of addictions abandoned, and purpose and direction in life instilled...

Of sudden prosperity or health...

Some testimony could be exaggeration or embellishment to gain approval from elders, or impress potential converts, but most I felt were true stories...

And here's the thing that struck me, of how utterly similiar it was to a christian tent meeting that occured that month also...substituting hymns for Japanese songs, and the terms 'born again' for 'chanting' -- and they were absolute mirrors of one another.

And yet, it was none of those things that got me involved in christianity...

In fact, at the time, I rejected all that as the influencing of suceptable minds...using shallow tactics...

I couldn't conceive of the apostles bringing that sort of sideshow to the peoples of the earth...

As I dug deeper in myself, I could not pin down, why I would believe in the Story...certainly I had heard it as a child and had allowed the world to drift me away from the core of it...but also none of the story had really penetrated until one defining moment when I did truely believe...

The cause of the moment of belief -- I accepted the explanation given (and still hold to), that God influenced the circumstances so that no distraction would rear itself higher than the importance of making that decision at that moment...providing a clear area free of any notions except the examination of yes or no to the call of belief...to be able to hold all that I considered in balance and make a decission free of attack, delusion, or deception...

But how many others I have known, in similar circumstances, background, and ways of thinking; made an opposite choice...

What was the whys of that?

Did it have to do with the term 'the elect' or the 'ones He has chosen from the foundation of the earth' -- His sheep hearing His voice? What did that imply? The collerary to ones being chosen, is that some are just not going to be included...

In christianity is the stated stand that some aren't going to make it...but everyone considers that it applies to 'the other guy, not me'...It's glossed over somewhat in the universal call for ALL to come to turn around from the World and face towards God...and assumed that some will not, and not discussed much...

Here's where the rassle with free will comes in...everyone has the choice to accept obedience to God or independance of self...Those that surrender independance for servatude are considered the elect of God, and those that don't are considered lost...

The arguement since God knows the outcome, that that must have some kind of compulsion on the decision, therefore removing the notion of free will; it leaves out the timelessness of God. Knowing the outcome of a life, is not the same as forcing the decisions made in that life...

So who makes it? What factor determines that ultimate 'right' choice? Picked out from the beginning of time, also says rejected from the very start for some...This is what rankles the unbelievers, providing an excuse for not listening to the whole of the story...

If it was a matter of picking what path would give you the smoothest ride, no one would turn away...the story of 'He did this for me', 'He rescued me from that', 'He changed such and such for the better' -- can only be a very minute working of salvation...And very much NOT part of the story...

All glossed over is the tales of counting the cost...taking up the cross...(I'm sure Mel Gibbson's movie will put that visualization firmly in our minds)...bringing emnity between family members...suffering and sacrificing for the spread of the Story...abandoning all or not being a follower...serving one master...being near impossible for the rich to gain heaven...willing and expected to die for your testimony...saying often 'how long must we suffer'....strangers wandering this earth, strangers in a strange land...with no place to call home, to lay your head...owning nothing...forsaking all...willing sheep for the slaughter...willing to lay down your life...going the extra mile, not just what is asked, but double and beyond...humbling and becoming last...prepared to abandon custom and tradition, training and position...all for terrible uncertainty and suffering in this world...by choice...by joyous choice...

With constant vigilence, with prayer and watching and waiting...supplication and intercession...putting yourself in harms way for the good of others...denying and subjugating the flesh...disciplining the mind...running the hard race...dying all day for His sake...

Counting the cost as a constant theme...once you start out on this hard journey, don't even think of turning back...better to never embark on following Christ, than to stumble and weaken and give up at some point...if you're going to lose, best you live all you can while you can...He'd rather have you hot or cold than wishy-washy, implying that it would be better to go whole hog in selfishness, and least you'd serve yourself better, than have a foot in both worlds...and lose out on both...this sounds like some have the role of being nothing more than stage props, to provide the aggrivation to the saints and willing minons for the enemy...Sounds like some are written in and some are written off...

Not a thing to make the written off feel good about themselves or God or His plan...If a person had a suspission that their role was to be a foil, resentment is bound to erupt...if they feel they'll never believe it, and be forced into a role, at least as scripted by christians, no wonder they persecute us...

If you're honest with your doubts, and find that the story is that those doubts condemn you, much more logical to attack the thing which condemns...

This is HARD stuff...

Where was all that while I was being promised cadallacs and perfect health? Heaven on earth now for the claiming? Loving arms and shelter, and warmth of a father's tender care?

The point is the WILLINGNESS to go that hard route...to look at it with clear seeing, and knowing it means that this earthly world can be what some would consider as complete hell...and understanding, that despite whatever SEEMS to be a steep price, be more than willing to grab and hold onto the 'bargain of a lifetime'...in perspective, such a minor trade for the enormity of the gain...

But there will be some who will look and not see the advantage of losing themselves...no amount of arguement could convince them that they could deny themselves that way...

Strange that some are born with that fate...seems unfair...and sounds almost planned that some should loose....and yet it's not necessarily the one's that object the most to it that will end up choosing against it -- Paul of Tarsus is a prime example...he went out of his way to stamp out God's working, left whatever he was doing to do it, traveled anywhere to contest it, dedicated himself by his own notion to persecute, took it upon himself to stamp out believers...and yet, it turned out, that we get the clearest explinations of the battle from him, and the move that made the Story global rather than regional...

This is why we are not to judge, and the ONLY thing we are told not to judge -- the ultimate destination of any human being...there may be some that we are sure and certain that will make it, that won't...and some that seem least likely that will...

Even though the offer of salvation is universal, and the application of it is universal, and the desire of God is that it be universal...the sad truth is that it will not be...

Work out your salvation with fear and trembling means that you can never give up, never rest, never forget, never stop, never assume...or you may be one of those that does not make it to God...

A warning...not so much for those who have yet to believe...but for all those who assume that they do....

There should always be a balance, and yet I've found the opposite balance to 'all is Love' has been a tilt towards repression, hate, and condemnation...Not a proper balance while sticking to the Story...

I'm groping for a thing that lies between predestination and predeterminism...that is a bridge between the hope of salvation, and those that feel they have no hope...with the realism of knowing that a factor of 'some will be lost' is not to be dismissed, for those that feel they have no need of hope...

Further, the plan and place for pain should be discussed; and discipline and pruning; but for now...an examination of where you stand....Toughen your mind and spirit...the War is coming to a conclusion...